Resolution Solution

My solution to the whole resolution thing is to make resolutions I can keep. For instance, I make a resolution like “I will wake up every day in the next year.” This is a terrific resolution because each day I can wake up with an immense sense of satisfaction, feeling slightly superior to everyone else. Sure, nearly everyone else woke up today (barring coma victims and those who have watched that “depression hurts” ad one too many times) but I am keeping a promise I made to myself.
Also, I don’t just make one super-simple resolution. I make as many as I possibly can, like: I will eat chocolate once a week, I will put music I love in my car CD player, I will make my cat happy and I will get a haircut this year. I write down as many as I can and spend the rest of the year being pretty happy. There’s another one: I will spend the rest of the year being pretty happy. Let me know if I backslide.
5 Suggested Resolutions for Celebs
I’ve noticed that more than one celebrity has interesting habits that could be combated by simple resolutions. With that in mind, here are my five suggested resolutions for the paparazzi hounded celebrity…
1. Wear Underwear. Unless you’re in the shower.
2. Gain weight. America is counting on you.
3. Refrain from racial outbursts, especially when you might be on camera.
4. Don’t get married. It won’t last.
5. Take care of a dog for a year before having kids
Your Resolution! We Want to Know!
The majority of resolutions aren’t made between December 28th- New Year’s Day. Most are made sometime in the month on January or as late as May. What’s your resolution? EU wants to know! Send a postcard with news of your resolution to c/o EU Jacksonville, Resolutions 5121 Bowden Rd, Suite 311, Jacksonville, FL 32216. Just drop us a creative line to announce your resolution or the success and/or tribulations of your resolution.